Fragile, Handle With Care
by Chezza
Summary: By CeCe Smith. Jack's stuck in the infirmary again....


Title: 'Fragile, Handle With Care'  
  
Author: CeCe Smith  
  
E-mail: cecesmith@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: Jack's stuck in the infirmary again....   
  
Status: Complete   
  
Series/Sequel: N/A  
  
Category: Humour  
  
Spoilers: Fragile Balance.  
  
Season: Seven  
  
Characters: Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill, Janet Frasier.  
  
Pairing: None.   
  
Rating: PG   
  
Warnings: None.   
  
Archive Permissions: Helio, Fanfiction.net, Gateworld.net, Chezza's Gate, anyone else - please ask.   
  
Disclaimer: : Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions---wish I could have just an itty-bitty piece, but am forced to be satisfied as a spectator.   
  
Author's notes:   
  
Beta-read by Chezza.  
  
(c) CeCe Smith 2003  
  
~~~o0o~~~  
  
"This just sucks."  
  
Carter couldn't help but smile, reminded of how not so long ago, another Jack O'Neill had said a similar thing. The sight of her Commanding Officer sitting on an infirmary bed, dangling his feet impatiently - so much like his teenage counterpart - was almost too much for her to keep her composure.  
  
"Colonel, you know that it is routine procedure for anyone who has been off-world, to be examined upon returning." Dr. Frasier admonished, hoping to end the whining session before it started to get out of hand.   
  
"And you have been 'off-world' for nearly a week."   
  
"Really, sir. I'd think that after what you've just been through, you'd want Janet to make sure everything's alright." Carter hoped not to encourage his bad attitude, but merely support the doctor's point.  
  
"Carter, don't you think I've been 'examined' enough lately, to know that I'm fine?" Jack said sourly, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. It was getting beyond a joke now. A week without taking a leak, then Thor beams them straight to the infirmary and before he had a chance to do *anything*, he'd been latched on to by Rottweiler in charge and she wasn't taking no for an answer. And there was no way in Hell he was asking for permission like some  
  
little kid.  
  
"Sir, that's exactly my point. We don't know everything that the Asgard did to you. We need to know whether it was just an exam, or if any physical manipulation of your DNA was done. The fact that Loki couldn't clone you correctly due to the anomaly Thor had placed in your cells, makes me wonder what else they've done to you in the past, without your knowledge or consent," Sam said softly, attempting not to sound insubordinate of her C.O.  
  
Hoping to diffuse the tension in the room, Janet kindly reprimanded, "Colonel, if you'd just be patient and sit still, this really won't take very long. The more you complain, the longer it is going to take to get the samples I need, to run these last few tests."   
  
Gently, Janet held his arm down and inserted the needle into the vein.   
  
"I'm not trying to be difficult, but if you'd just let me alone for five minutes, I'd be fine."   
  
Thinking to himself, 'besides, I have *got* to pee.'The urge to go was getting painful and he desperately needed a 'bathroom break'. Right now in fact.  
  
"I'm almost finished, then you can be alone for as long as you like," the doctor said, removing the needle and placing the bandage in its place on his arm.  
  
"There, just one more check and we're done sir."  
  
Jack squirmed where he sat. Nope it was no good, he couldn't hold on any longer. It had gone beyond 'painful', into 'desperate' territory. He had to go. Now.  
  
"No Doc, you are done. Right now."  
  
"Sir..."  
  
"Doc! You're finished. Really."  
  
"Colonel..."  
  
"Doc, please! I gotta go."  
  
'Come on Doc, gimme a break! Can't ya figure out where I'm going with this?' He thought.  
  
"Why?"  
  
'Obviously not...'  
  
"Because if I don't, you're gonna end up with a large puddle on your infirmary floor."  
  
Silence. Then....  
  
"Oh."  
  
Followed by:  
  
"Well, um...in that case I guess I'm done for now, sir."  
  
'Yes!!! Finally!'  
  
"*Thank* you."  
  
Jack jumped off the bed and made hasty tracks for the door. He'd nearly made it when Carter coughed.  
  
'Doh! So close!'  
  
"Um.if you'd like sir, I'll let General Hammond know you're done here and see if he'll let you have the next few days off. Plus, it would give Janet and myself time to go over the lab test results." Carter suggested, hoping he would agree.  
  
"Fine by me Carter, knock yourself out." He said hurriedly and carried on without giving her a chance to speak.  
  
"Strange as it sounds, I feel like I haven't had time off in forever. Even though technically I've actually been gone a week, it's only been a day since I was here last. This is worse than that weekend in Vegas after graduating flight school."   
  
At least he'd got to pee then.   
  
"And boy, was *that* something to forget."   
  
Janet and Sam exchanged glances.  
  
"Can't even imagine, sir."  
  
Jack fidgeted.  
  
'He was not gonna cross his legs, he was not gonna cross his legs..'  
  
"Uh look, I really need to...you know, so if that's everything?!!"  
  
Sam nodded. "Yes sir."  
  
"Great."  
  
Jack turned and dived quickly through the infirmary door before they could call him back.  
  
Unable to restrain a grin, Sam turned to Janet and they burst out laughing.  
  
"Is the world ready for two Jack O'Neills?" Sam asked, once they'd both calmed down a little.  
  
Janet grinned. "After *that* little display? Probably not."  
  
"I wonder what Duplicate O'Neill thinks about all of this, especially now that he has the chance to 're-live' his life." Sam mused as they finished clearing up.  
  
"One can only guess what trouble *that* O'Neill will be causing in the future. Come on, let's drop these off at the lab and find a cup of coffee." Janet said, shaking her head.  
  
Sam grinned. "Let's hope it doesn't involve any large puddles!"  
  
Giggling hysterically, Janet and Sam picked up the samples and they headed out of the infirmary, both wondering what adventures awaited the cloned O'Neill.  
  
~~~End~~~ 


End file.
